Whatever happened to you?
by Yuki Michiyo
Summary: Boy Meets World. This takes place 5 years after the Season 7 finale, and the gang has in fact split up. But when Mr. Feeny gets sick, Eric must find a way to bring them all back together. Lots of perspective from Eric and his character. Parings: Mostly Shawn/Angela with some Jack/Rachel.
1. Mr Eric Matthews

**DISCLAIMER: **I do NOT own the characters of Boy Meets World.

Boy Meets World has come and gone, and it has been 5 years since Cory and Topanga left for New York with Shawn. But Shawn had never favored living in the garage above their house, dating woman and woman, and never finding another Angela. He packed up, without warning, gave Eric and number to reach him at, and left to Europe. Cory and Topanga were shocked. With no number to reach him at, their friendship faded. For the first time in his life, Shawn was truly alone, no Cory to fall back on. The gang had fallen apart, no one but Alan and Amy realizing that Eric had everyone's phone numbers and kept in small contact with everyone.

Eric was sitting in his apartment living room, trying to focus on more homework. He never understood why he had stayed in school, but he did. His dating life had decreased immensely since high school days, and he still was not sure what he wanted to do with his life.

'I'm almost 30 years old...' he thought to himself that night, 'And I still am a failure". The thought hurt him, but he tried to push it out of his mind.

The phone rang. Eric smiled, glad for the distraction. It could be his job, maybe that cute girl in his government class...

"Heello, Eric speaking"

"Hey Eric, it's Dad"

"Oh," Eric said, disappointed.

"Eric, listen. I have really bad news. You need to call everyone"

Eric was quiet for a second. "Dad... what's wrong?"

"It's Feeny. Feeny... well, he's in the hospital Eric. He might not make it this time"

Eric was stunned. Feeny had been in and out of the hospital for multiple reasons in the past 2 years, but never anything serious. Never anything fatal.

"Son, he had a heart attack"

Shocked, Eric finally realized he was sitting on the ground. He didn't remember moving, but that was not his important thought right now.

"Eric? You still there?"

"...Yeah..." he choked out.

"I need you to call everyone, Eric. You're the only one with everyone's number still"

"Yeah... yeah..."

"Thanks."

There was a silence, but Eric hardly noticed it.

"You're a good man, Eric. A good man"

There was a click on the other line, and Eric Matthews almost missed the best compliment his father had ever given him.

'Some good man' he thought. 'I can not keep my only true friend from dying'

Scared at the thought, Eric reminded himself that Feeny was forever.

'He cannot die' Eric thought. 'He is Feeny'


	2. Faith

The phone rang at the Matthew's New York home.

Cory, rocking a baby, looked at the Caller ID. "Matthews, Eric".

He laughed to himself. Old Eric, calling again. Eric, who knew how busy they were but always had some joke to tell. Cory had encouraged his brother to get into comedy, but Eric was edgy about it. Their relationship had grown since Cory and Topanga moved away, and even more since Shawn left them.

"Heey! You have reached the Matthews home! Leave a message at the BEEEP and we _will_ get back to you soon! Your call is important! ...Topanga? How do you turn this off? Topanga? TOPAN---!"

'I need to change that," Cory thought to himself.

"Hey Cory... this is, ah, Eric. Listen..."

Cory realized it was serious and picked up the phone, resting it in between his head and shoulder.

Topanga walked in to see Cory's grim face.

"Yeah, Eric. Oh my God. I don't know what to say. You just found out? Alright, I'll see what we can do about work, but Topanga and I will rush over as soon as we can. Okay, good-bye"

"What is that? What are we doing?" Topanga tried to smile, knowing Cory had bad news.

"Home" Cory's voice said, breaking. "Feeny is dying..."

"He won't die! Besides, how can you expect me to pack all my stuff in a short amount of time?" Topanga tried to joke.

Ignoring her, Cory went on. "We're meeting everyone at Mom and Dad's place"

"Who's everyone?"

"Does it matter?" Cory snapped. He handed Topanga their oldest son and wandered outside.

Twenty minutes later Cory came back in and talked in hushed voices to his parents. Then he called up his job at Verizon Mobile and got time off. He was surprised, but then again, Cory never asked for time off. He was their best worker.

"Topanga? Can you miss school?"

"Of course. I already called my intern. They said they trust I'll catch up and they want to make sure we're all okay. Cory... what happens if we don't get to say goodbye?"

The silence felt everlasting.

"Let's not think about that. Come on, grab the kids, we'll all pack"

"We haven't seen any of them in 5 years, Cory"

"I know. It's about time. I wonder who will show up. If only we could call Shawn..."


	3. Hope

Shawn was stretched out across his couch, a new girl cooking him dinner. This one sure was pretty, probably the best looking he's seen in awhile. But she meant nothing. She had long brown hair and deep green eyes. Her smile would melt most guys' hearts. And she had seemed genuinely happy about dating him. It had been 2 weeks now, and he was wondering how he was going to end it. The two week rule, the one he had kept until... his heart hurt at the name... Angela. The one he had reinstated after she left.

"Shawn..."

Suddenly his cell phone started to buzz, and caller ID told him it was Eric. Looking for an excuse to get away, he answered and walked onto his apartment's porch. As they talked, Savannah looked in from outside. She knew what was coming, a girl could tell these things. There was someone else in Shawn's life, there always has been. And she would accept it, but she'd always miss his romantic and cute ways.

Shawn came back into the apartment, his face more upset and bothered than before. Not only had Eric told Shawn that Feeny was on his deathbed, but he had asked Shawn to call Angela.

Savannah looked at Shawn as he walked in. "Savie," he said quietly, "my old teacher... well, he was more like a friend, is dying. I have to go to America to be with him. I am not sure how long I'll be gone, so it's best we just... if you just... just see other guys. It's fine"

She nodded. "It was to happen sooner or later". Her accent was thick.

Shawn's eyes looked back up, knowing this response, hearing it a hundred times it felt like. He used to break girls hearts. Now they all "understood". Shawn knew it had to do with Angela, and he hated himself for it.

Savannah came up and kissed Shawn on the cheek. "Let us enjoy our dinner though. You must eat"

As much as he did not want to eat, Shawn nodded. He had been hungry twenty minutes ago and he knew Savannah was right.

---------

An hour later, and hundreds of miles away, the phone rang in Angela Moore's living room. Her live-in maid ran to answer it.

"Ms. Moore? Dis is for you. E says is name is... Shawn Unter. Ms. Moore? Ms. Moore?"

Angela stared, in disbelief at Rosie. "It can't be" she said to herself, "It's impossible"

Realizing that Rosie was still calling her, Angela got up and took the phone. Putting it to her ear, she could not believe until she heard his voice.

"Angela"

His voice was huskier than ever. But it sounded sober. Knowing Shawn would not call without a reason, thinking she had left him forever, she knew it must be serious.

The simple word "Shawn" was the only word she could say.

Silence.

The words from the other end of the line seemed forced. "Feeny. He's... dying. Come to Philadelphia. He had a heart attack. Bye"

A click. Within seconds, the life Angela knew so well, the safe, boring, life, was gone. By the time she realized that she heard a girl in the background of her conversation with Shawn, she was already in a plane.


	4. Love

Jack and Rachael were preparing to leave the Peace Corps.

"Five years here. In Chak Chak. I cannot believe we ended up here for so long," Jack said, chuckling to himself.

"Helping out here was the best decision I ever made. That and leaving my ex," Rachael said to Jack, barely noticing his words.

Jack turned to look at Rachael. If he was not in love with her before this trip, he was by now. He loved her more and more everyday, but when they came to Chak Chak, Iran, they put their relationship aside. But he wanted to tell her now, in this humble place, that he has loved her for so long now. That obviously they were perfect today, that...

"Jack!" called out a man.

Jack turned to look at him, and the man, Atash, was motioning at him.

"We're leaving!" he yelled back. The man continued to motion.

Jack held his finger up at Rachael to wait and ran back. He walked with Atash to the village court and into their main building, the only one with a telephone line. He directed Jack to the room with the phone and motioned towards it.

Jack Hunter smiled at Atash and answered the phone.

"Hey," he said casually, curious as to who would call him at this time.

"JACK!" the voice boomed into his ear. Immediately Jack knew who it was.

"Eric? What? How? Why- Why are you calling?"

A silence.

"It's..." Eric finally said, "It's... Feeny."

"George Feeny?"

"WHAT OTHER FEENY?" Eric lashed out.

Eric was, however, as shocked at this response as Jack.

"Sorry," Eric apologized, "It's just...Feeny. Well... he's sick. He had a heart attack. We don't know how long he'll be around for, and it'd be nice if the gang came back for this"

"Actually," Jack responded, "Rachael and I were leaving right now. We had been planning to come back and surprise Amy and Alan, have them call everyone"

"Not everyone is around anymore. I came back to Philly about two years ago to continue studying..."

"You?" Jack laughed.

"Jack, listen. Just come back, that's all I can ask. Everyone will be here. Do as you planned"

And with that, Jack heard the click.

Miles and miles away, Jack knew Eric was hurt. A man who had never show it, made the best of every situation he could. One of the most caring people he'd met. He was surprised Eric didn't come with him, but in a way, Eric worked best with making relief of those close to him. Chak Chak would be too much for him.

By this time, Jack was back to Rachael. He told her all about Feeny, and she nodded.

"Good timing in coming home then, I guess," Rachael whispered.

Jack realized professing his love for her was a silly idea, and forgetting that there were more important issues made him feel stupid. Five years- had he learned nothing? Were his 'feelings' for her enough to cause him to destroy everything he knew?

He watched as a helicopter landed to take him to the airport. Looking at Rachael one last time, he saw as her fiery red hair bounced in the wind, and cringed. Feeny was not going to be around forever. Well, in their hearts, perhaps, but physically...


	5. The Start

Angela was the first to arrive. 

A knock on the door was her only warning. No one knew if Shawn had even gotten in contact with her. Eric and Morgan, who was now 19 and home from college, sat in the living room. Eric had missed what this couch felt like, the memories of different girls. He was embarrassed of his choices. Always putting chicks more important than schooling. Maturing had changed Eric. He knew that knowledge could help others. Feeny, a teacher, spread that.

Snapped out of his daydream, Eric hurried to the door. 

"Angela!" he gasped, his eyes wide.

She hugged him. Angela Moore and Eric Matthews were never close, but seeing each other transported their lost memories back into their minds. He looked at her, she looked wealthy. Her beautiful silk, black dress fell past her knees, and the purse she had with her matched. Pearls dangled from around her neck and off her ears. She had barely aged. But in her eyes, there was something missing, and Eric knew this look. The look in her eyes was the same look Shawn had carried with him, living in New York. The idea that everything was good, but not right. 

"Eric... how are you?" Angela's tender voice asked. She knew how close Eric was to Feeny, he knew Feeny better than anyone else. 

"I've been better," Eric chuckled, trying to relieve his own pain.

"Where is everyone?" Angela asked.

"They aren't here yet, you're the first one to arrive," Eric told her.

"But I flew in from Spain," she mummered, her voice a whisper. 

Eric nodded. "Well, Cory and Topanga had to work out their jobs, Jack and Racheal are coming from Iran or something, and Shawn needed to work out some kinks before he flew in from Europe-"

"Europe?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, France,"

"He lives in France now... why?"

"We always thought he left to find you. You never told him where exactly you left to. But he made a job there, and he seems happy. Happier than living in the granny flat above Cory and Topanga's garage," he laughed quietly, as if remembering an old joke.

Morgan, who had been listening, finally spoke, "Angela? I don't know if you'd remember me, but-"

"Of course I do! Cory's little sister," Angela paused and looked at Eric, "And Eric's. You look beautiful. Last time I saw you, you weren't yet matured. But now... you're quite the lady,".

Morgan sat back down on the couch, stunned by the wonderful compliment. Our of all Cory's friends, he knew Angela the least. She was always with Shawn, Shawn's only distraction from Cory. She was the reason Shawn ran off, why Shawn didn't visit. But she couldn't find it in her heart to dislike Angela. She was sweet.

"Thank you" Morgan finally spat out. "You look wonderful as well"

Awkwardly, Eric sat on the couch next to Morgan. He didn't know what to say to Angela. When the idea of her coming had set itself in his mind, he wanted to tell her how badly Shawn was hurt. How Shawn had been willing to give his life to her in return for her love. But Eric, throughout his Psychology classes, had learned a lot about the human soul. When he looked into her brown eyes, Angela's soul was exposed to him. If she had found another man, Eric did not know. But he did know that if she did, the man was nothing compared to Shawn. 

"When is..." Angela hesitated, not wanting to ask. "When is Shawn coming? Do you know? I mean, I haven't seen him in 5 years-"

"I don't know," Eric said, "Sometime"

A door slammed from the kitchen and Eric could hear his parents, probably with Joshua, who was now 8. 

"Mom! Dad! Angela's here!"

It felt so strange to say.

Amy and Alan rushed into the living room. Looking at Angela, they saw a beautiful girl who had not aged since her college days. She was beautiful in every way, and obviously rich. Like Morgan, they had never known Angela too well, but Shawn loved her. And if Shawn loved her, they knew she was good.

"Hello Angela," Amy said. "You look beautiful"

"Thank you," Angela responded. 

Amy had aged since raising another child, putting a girl through college, and her loved ones leaving her for New York. But Eric came back, he always did. He lived in an apartment just a few blocks south.

"Angela," Alan walked up to her and shook her hand. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"

"It has," Angela responded quietly.

Joshua wandered into Eric's arms. 

"Eric," Josh said.

"Yeah, man?"

"When will Mr. Feeny be fixing his garden? Joyce and Brad want to ask him about their homework"

Eric laughed, "Josh. No matter what happens, Mr. Feeny is here," Eric motioned to Josh's heart, "And here," he motioned to Morgan's heart, "And here," motioning to his own.

Josh smiled. He always liked speaking to Eric, sometimes it felt like Mr. Feeny was talking, at least through Eric. 

When Eric looked at Josh, he saw Cory at 8 years old. But Josh, he was so much more than that. Josh was not only his own person, but he was mature, for an 8 year old. Although Josh had Cory's looks, he had learned so much from Eric, it was hard not to be real. While Eric was silly and fun to be around, his deeper side was one that came out in the right time. He remembered what he told Feeny before they left to New York.

"_I don't know what's going to happen to me. But I do know that I'm going to be a good person who cares about people. I blame you for that." (A Brave New World 2)_

And Eric hoped that Feeny shined through him. He hoped he has done good, and well do good, as Mr. Feeny had told him.

Angela coughed, snapping Eric out of his daydream. 

"Well, I know you're here for Feeny, but he can't have visitors for the next few days. The nurses won't tell us much except that he's sleeping a lot. Guess we all wore him out," Eric laughed.

Angela nodded. "I came here on impulse," she laughed, "I don't really have a place to stay, and it's getting late, so I should probably go-"

"You can stay here," Amy said. "Eric lives just a few blocks down, so we have room. Josh has insisted on staying at Eric's lately, which is fine as long as Eric drives him to school"

Angela smiled. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, dear. You should feel at home"

* * *

That night, Eric rolled himself into bed, Joshua curled him next to him.

"Hey little brother, you need to sleep"

"I can't"

"Why?"

"I'm scared"

"Don't be"

"What if Mr. Feeny doesn't make it?" 

"Joshy," Eric started, hoping the words would come out right, "Mr. Feeny has gotten pretty old. He's lived a good life. He has helped a lot of people, and he has made our lives easier. If it weren't for him, who knows where I'd be"

Eric looked down at his little brother, who seemed calmer. 

"He was my teacher for a long time. Cory's longer, yes, but he was my teacher too. And he's been my neighbor longer," Eric laughed quietly again, "And he's more than just a history teacher, or whatever he taught, I can never remember. He was a life coach, always ready for the problems we threw at him. We never knew much about his past, but that never mattered. With Mr. Feeny, the past was done, and we had to look forward, no matter how hard it is. If something was meant to come back into our lives, it would. Mr. Feeny, if his body is on Earth or not, does not mean as much as if his spirit lives on in all of us. Do you get it?"

A snore came out of Josh's mouth and Eric realized that he had probably gotten too deep for his 8 year old brother. No matter, it got him to sleep. And it made Eric realize a lot too. He had to get his own life in order and take himself into importance. Helping other people would come naturally.

Resting his head against his pillow, Eric continued to think of Feeny's advice as he fell asleep.


	6. Angela's Story

The next night, Eric was surprised how quickly people were coming. He hadn't expected it, and was glad that his apartment would be able to fit Cory and Jack, and if Shawn came. Both groups had called, Jack and Rachael had another few planes to get all the way home, but Cory and Topanga had arrived today with their baby girl, Faith.

As Joshua drifted off to sleep next to him, Eric remembered the day.

The doorbell had rung, and Angela was still in the guest room, talking on the phone. Eric was reading his "Psychology for Dummies" book again, barely focusing. Joshua was at school and Morgan was revisiting some friends from high school.

Mindlessly, Eric walked to the door, expecting Morgan to have forgotten her keys, if she had any for that matter. He wasn't as close to Morgan as he was to Joshua and Cory. She made fun of him a lot when they were younger, as everyone else did, but it had stayed with him. Between thinking he was dumber than dirt and making fun him when that girl made all the horrible songs about him, heck, she had even bought the CDs and sung the songs. And she never apologized for anything.

When he opened the door, he was shocked to see Cory and Topanga standing there, Topanga's baby in arms. Faith was probably six months old, and it was the last time the whole family had been together.

"She's beautiful," Eric said automatically, then, teasing he added, "She must get her looks from Topanga, eh, little brother?"

"Hardly har har, Eric. I'll just let you know that your little brother is raising a beautiful baby girl successfully, and with a perfectly proportional body. We even take turns rotating her so her head doesn't form a weird shape, right snookums?"

Ignoring Cory, Topanga thanked Eric.

"How's Feeny?" she asked, lowering her voice as if someone would hear her and tell on her.

"He's alright, I guess," Eric shrugged, walking to the couch and motioning them to follow. "The nurses said he's been sleeping too much for his own good-"

"Eric says we tired him out, didn't we?" interrupted Angela's voice.

Topanga was suddenly glad it was her holding the baby as Cory fell against the wall behind him, tripping over the rug.

"Sorry if I surprised you," Angela laughed quietly.

"No.. I just... I didn't know you were... I didn't know anyone..."

"Shawn had my number the whole time," Angela admitted.

"Did he find you? Is he with you? We haven't heard from him in-"

"No," Angela said back, "He could have, but he never did." She shrugged, watching Cory and Topanga's shocked faces at her presence calm into curious ones.

"I guess you deserve more about everything that has been going on," she said, and Cory nodded. "Well, I ended up staying in Spain, it's gorgeous there. I met a man there. He was good to me, he spoiled me. He was funny, romantic, sweet, caring, loving-"

"But Shawn is better, right? You don't love him like you love Shawn, right?" Cory jumped to ask.

Topanga tugged Cory to the couch and gave him a look to be silent. She knew it was hard for Angela to talk about. The way she was talking, something happened.

Eric reclined on one of the chairs and tried to picture Angela's life. It was difficult to see another man, he only knew Angela because she was crazy about Shawn.

"He was no Shawn," Angela admitted, "But I did love him. A lot. But there was a lot I didn't know about him. One night he didn't come home. I tried calling anyone that might have known where he was, but all his friends hadn't heard from him that night," She sunk onto the couch remembering this time in her life, the worry he was cheating on her, how selfish she was being, when, "He had gotten himself into some betting problems. I guess people owed him money, and he was going to collect it. But they didn't have the money, and they were not planning to give it to him. So... they shot him."

"Oh, Angela," Topanga said softly, "I am so sorry. That must have been awful."

Faith started to stir and Topanga looked next to her, at Cory.

"I'll get her stuff out of the car," he whispered to her. "Sorry Angela," he said louder, feeling awkward saying her name, "I'll be right back," and with that, Cory hurried out to the car.

Eric had been silent the entire time, and Topanga was a bit worried. Eric was never the quiet one, he was always cracking a joke about something.

"Well, Angela," Topanga tried, "Has anything else gone good for you?"

Angela's eyes looked lost in thought and nodded, "He left me all of his money, the sweet man. I really don't know what to do with it all. It doesn't feel right. We were only married for a year, but he wasn't close to his family."

Topanga nodded, taking in Angela's fine clothes, compared to her own. She almost felt as if she was in rags compared to Angela. Her and Cory worked hard, but since her intern was paying to further her education, Cory's income was their only real one, and it was not huge, especially for New York. Her parents helped with the money sometimes, having a baby was so expensive. Topanga was in her nice black pants and a long gray button up shirt, while Angela had obviously name brand clothes, but Topanga had lost touch with fashion.

"So how are you? Eric's said a little, but-"

"We're good," Topanga said. "Little Faith is just driving us insane, aren't you baby?" she asked, looking downwards.

Faith cooed, recognizing her name.

"She's beautiful, a beautiful baby."

"We're really happy to have her."

Cory tried to push the door open but was having a difficult time. Angela got up to help because Topanga had the baby and Eric was still lost in thought.

As soon as the door was open Eric's voice rang out inside the room, "Ask."

"Eric?" Cory looked at his brother.

"Ask them, Angela. Ask what happened to him,"

Angela shook her head, "Is there more?"

"Ask."


	7. Shawn's Story Part 1

Angela was silent for awhile. She couldn't ask, not yet at least. Cory and Topanga played with the baby and eventually had to change and feed her. Angela wondered when she had ever been completely dependent on someone else. She had been independent for so long, never letting anyone break in. But she let Shawn break it. She let Shawn come into her life and her emotions had fallen completely dependent on him.

But things were different now. She was a widow. And no one really knew what Shawn was up to now a days, as Eric had explained earlier. Why did she need to ask Cory and Topanga anything? She knew what Eric wanted her to ask. How would they know? How would anyone know – anyone but Shawn? Angela's eyes drifted to Eric, who was hovering over his "Psychology for Dummies" text again. His eyes looked up however, into hers. She knew what he wanted her to do. She couldn't bring herself to ask. Eric watched her for only a moment and turned back to his book. She moved herself upwards to see what Eric was reading.

"Chapter 12: Catching the First Boat off Isolation Island."

Ha. How isolated Angela felt now. Surrounded by people who hadn't seen her in 5 years, but had all kept in contact. People that knew an answer to a question she was dying to ask.

Angela took a deep breath. "Topanga? Cory?"

The couple looked up, waiting to see what it was Eric wanted her to ask so badly.

"After I left..." she started. "After I went off... did Sha-" The name was so difficult to say in front of her old friends, "Did Sh.. Sha.. Shawn. Did Shawn mention anything about... still..." Her voice lost her.

"It's alright," Eric comforted, not looking up from his book, "You need to ask."

"Anything about... still... well... still loving me?" The words were finally out, but Angela did not yet breathe out in relief. She still had the answer.

"Of course he did," Cory said without a pause.

Topanga shook her head, "Cory... Shawn didn't talk about you, to be honest. But we know he thought of you, all the time. For a long time we saw him come home with girl after girl, wanting each one to be his new Angela. He was drunk, constantly. Cory finally went to the granny flat one day to talk to him about it, but Shawn was drunk. Just like his father. He was a drunk, yelling at Cory that love is not why we're here. That love is just junk, and no one knows what it is. That Cory and I were just babies, falling for the world's view of love. That love never stayed. That happy endings never came."

Cory nodded solemnly, "The next morning I had a note taped on the window of our door. It said 'I did not mean what I said last night, I was drunk. I hate who I am, and I am leaving. I never meant to hurt you. You two are my best friends, and you know love. I hope I do too. Best wishes and God bless.' and to be honest, I was shocked. I mean, I knew he wouldn't stay around forever, but to leave without saying goodbye?"

Angela sighed. "I think I know why he didn't say those words..."

* * *

Flashback to "Angela's Ashes"

"_You came to say goodbye to me?" Angela asked Shawn, his face hidden behind his hand for a second._

"_No, no," he said looking up into her eyes, "I will never say goodbye to you. Because if I say goodbye to you, then that's it, that's goodbye."_

"_You're right," she responded, taking in a deeper breath, "We should never say goodbye, because we're gunna write each other everyday, and we're gunna call each other and it'll be like we've never even been apart"_

* * *

"_Yes," he nodded, looking at her firmly, "Exactly. We should never be apart."_

Angela opened her eyes. Shawn had a question for her that day, and she knew what it had been. But her daddy needed her, and she couldn't let him ask it. If Shawn had asked the question, she would have said yes. There would have been no way around it.

"Angela," Topanga started, "Why didn't you come back? You said only a year. That you'd be back soon. But you went off and got married. I mean-"

"I met someone. Shawn never found me! Can't you see that it hurt me?"

"Shhhh..." rang out. Eric had walked over to Angela by this point and was holding her.

"The last time you saw me, you held me too," she laughed.

"Kinda awkward," Eric laughed, "But you've always needed it,"

And as he smothered her, he sang, not in a delicate voice, but in his Eric voice, _"Ooh-ooh, child, things are gonna get easier! Ooh-ooh, child, things'll get brighter!" (Angela's Ashes)._

"Hey," he added, "I promised you that, right?"

Angela nodded, laughing, "When will it come true?"

"Soon," Eric promised, "I can feel it."

Cory took Faith outside, Eric's singing was definitely too much for her.

"Eric doesn't know everything," he said to himself, rocking her, "But he might be right. Maybe things will get easier and brighter. But I mean, with Mr. Feeny sitting there in the hospital, and nothing any of us can do about it... how can things get better? And Angela. She'll see Shawn and everything will be back to normal, right baby?"

Faith answered him with a whine.

Eric rolled over again, reflecting over the day. He could hear Cory in the living room, talking to himself. Cory had a lot of hope for Shawn and Angela, he always had. He didn't give up on them, even when Shawn and Angela had. Eric knew that Cory just wanted his best friend to be happy. Topanga had talked to Eric later and asked him why he wasn't cracking the jokes like he used to. Eric was a bit stunned at the question, but knew he had no good reason. He liked finding comic relief in everything, no matter the horridness of the situation. But with Feeny lying on his deathbed, how could he find anything funny? Feeny was his closest friend, the only person to ever take him seriously. As his mind began to wander deeper into a state of altered consciousness, the harsh realities of life faded around him and happiness sprung around inside his eyelids.


	8. Shawn's Story, Part 2

Update: Hello! I am sure everyone hates me for taking almost five years for an update. Truth is, the idea of reuniting Shawn/Angela terrified me. But with the new show on its way... I want to finish it before that. I always liked this story. I had an easier time writing in character because I watched the show more often back then so please let me know if I go too unreasonably OOC. I know Eric seems OOC but he has grown/matured. He was always my favorite character and I wanted to develop him. I always felt that Eric's relationship with Tommy pulled out a lot of his character and it was disappointing how little it developed.

Also sorry for the massive monologue. :3 Got to get the story out and this seemed best.

Anyway. Let me know!

xxx

The new Verizon phone that Cory had convinced Eric to buy was what woke Eric up. He was about to shut it off, thankful that Josh had decided to sleep at home that night when he noticed it was Shawn.

Groaning and sitting up in bed, Eric answered, "What are you doing, man? It's still 3am here. Have you left?"

"Hey Eric. Yeah, I know. I'm in the same timezone. The thing is, I have been at the airport since last night"

"So take a taxi," he tried to hit the end button and missed, still being able to hear Shawn's voice.

"No! Eric. I don't know where you live and-"

"I'll give you the address. It's 3am! Unlike you, my sleeping patterns are in this timezone"

"Eric! Listen to me man. I can't do this. You need to pick me up"

The silence strained Shawn's ears. Eric had to do this.

"Fine. I'll be there in 30 minutes. But be outside by then"

_Click._

Shawn breathed a sigh of relief. There was no way that he could focus on anything right now. Something living inside of him knew that Angela was in the same state and it was destroying him. Not to mention seeing Cory and Topanga again when the last time he had seen them, he was drunk and angry. Regret bled through him at those memories. His whole life he had done well. One stint in his teenage years but compared to most people, he had been anything but an alcoholic. But trying to live without Angela as he watched his two best friends in love. Impossible was a word that the Matthews had tried to hard to convince Shawn was never an option. But impossible it was.

As he looked down at his hands, he tried to focus simply on the lines in his hands. One thing Shawn had struggled with more than most guys his age was that he thought too much. He spoke too little and thought too much. If he were being fair, the only person who may have thought more than him was Angela. And maybe that was part of why he fell in love. She was someone who made him feel normal and alive. When he was with her, he could think and it didn't hurt so much.

Girls had always been an escape from his thoughts about his own life. But now he spent his days in the arms of women trying to escape the thought of just one. Just one person. It was not fair.

So he watched his hands and before he knew it, his phone was ringing.

"Where are you?"

"Almost outside, I swear," Shawn muttered into the phone as he grabbed his backpack - it was all he brought, all he needed - and went outside.

xxx

The car ride was long and uncomfortable because Eric was pissed and Shawn was nervous. But when they pulled up to the strange condo duplex that felt so foreign to Shawn, Eric didn't move.

So Shawn started to open the door.

"Not yet," Eric said, his eyes still staring forward and hands on the wheel.

Unsure what to do, Shawn put his hands in his lap and looked down at them again. They never changed. Or at least not really. The silence that had been most of the car ride (after Eric had shortly asked how the flight was and Shawn responded 'fine') was back and stronger than ever without an excuse to be in here.

"Ok, here is how it goes," Eric finally made eye contact with Shawn for the first time tonight. Shocked took over when Shawn realized the seriousness in Eric's normally light and happy eyes, "No one gets to sleep under my roof unless I get what I need answered. Got it?"

Shawn nodded. Where was this going? And what happened to all the jokes? Maybe he shouldn't have come home. What if everyone changed this much?

"You need to tell me what happened. I know what Topanga and Cory told me when you left. But you need to tell me everything. I always gave you that. You never had to explain yourself. We just talked and joked about life. You don't need to tell everyone though I am sure Cory will ask right away-"

A knowing smile slipped onto Shawn's face.

"- but you gave me your phone number. You chose me to keep in contact with. And you need to tell someone. Do you understand?"

Again a nod from Shawn. Though Eric's method surprised him, the request was expected.

"Want to walk and talk?" he suggested.

"It's like thirty degrees out and you don't have a jacket on".

Shawn shrugged.

"Fine. Here works. It just feels so..." Close? Personal? Dark? "Alright. Well. I gave you my phone number because I knew that you were the one person I could trust to never look for me. Cory and Topanga worry so much but I could take care of myself. You knew that. We were never close and you never liked me but you knew that I would be OK," he looked over to see Eric nodding his head, "So I took off. Jack would worry too. 'We're blood,' he'd say. But we were apart for what, seventeen years? I figured a few more wouldn't hurt too much.

"So I left to Europe. All the booze money I had left I went and bought a one-way plane ticket. Lived on the streets for a couple weeks and hardly was able to pay off that phone. But I knew that you'd contact me if someone important happened. Like Cory and Topanga having their little girl. Or someone dying-" his voice choked and he kept his eyes on his hands, "Well yeah. I started off in Portugal. Stayed where I could. Picked up random jobs. Moved through Spain," he glanced up when he noticed a movement on Eric's part. But Eric's face was blank, simply taking in Shawn's story so he continued, "into France. I told myself that I was just moving along but I was always hoping to somehow run into Angela. I would stop at a little cafe and glance in, hoping to see her dark skin and hair. She would be sitting at one of the tables, just drinking coffee and having a normal day. Until she saw me. But I never did. I had her phone number, you know that? But I was so afraid to dial it. So I never did.

"I went into Switzerland for awhile but found my way back to France. It felt more right to be an outsider and was easier to pick up quick jobs that had no commitment. And so many women only knew bits of English that it made it easier to break things off with them. I never found anyone worth keeping in my life for more than two weeks. Some great women. But never her. Never Angela. I looked into every coffeeshop. Just in case. But I had enough money to get a little apartment in the lower part of France and stayed there mostly, taking the trains when I could. That's about it"

Shawn was out of breath. He had not spoken so much in years. It was not that he refused to tell his story to anyone... it was only that there was no one worth it to share it with. His life, his past, had been a secret. He was just a silly American man with a broken heart to most women he formed any bond with and just a silly American man to the rest of the people he knew. But over the years, not having friends began to hurt. He would call Eric more often with nothing to say and the two would sit in silence before Eric had to go and awkwardly hung up.

"Time for sleep," Eric opened his own door and glanced at Shawn's backpack. "Is that seriously all you brought?"


	9. Sleep

Cory was sound asleep when Shawn set down his stuff next to him.

Glancing up at Eric, Shawn gave him a pained looked. Eric motioned for Shawn to follow him into his room.

When Eric shut the door, Shawn took a deep breath and sat on the black overstuffed chair next to the door. Weird placement. But it is Eric.

"I can't do it, Eric."

"You might want to still keep it down," Eric laughed, "These walls are mighty thin. What can you do with a teacher's salary?"

Eric stretched out on his queen sized bed, getting a sly grin from Shawn.

"Many women on this bed?" he asked, deciding to distract himself for awhile.

But Eric shook his head. "No way man. It would be too weird. I rarely take them back to my place which is saying something because I rarely take the ladies out in the first place. This bed was cause Joshua started spending the night all the time. Something about the couch being a horrid pile of nails," he shrugged and grinned, "Guess we'll find out from Cory in the morning."

With another mention of Cory, Shawn stiffened.

"Tell me what's going on, man," Eric was tired of prying. It was far too early or late or the wrong time of day to put effort into this. He was thankful that Shawn had been so open in the car even if it had sounded like reciting a list of facts.

"Cory can't wake up to me just showing up in the same room. After everything-"

"Pretty sure you and Cory have a weird enough relationship where that isn't even unusual."

"It's different now though. I messed up."

"Again. Not unusual." Eric said but calmed this time as he could see Shawn was started to get himself worked up. "Calm down, man. Cory still loves you."

"I wish it could be that simple, Eric. But it isn't. You never had to see that time in my life. I was so angry. I said so many horrible things to Cory. And then I just ran away like a scared kid. Cory would have forgiven me. I know it. He still will, probably. But it isn't fair."

"Shawn, come lie next to me."

Shawn looked at Eric through his fingers, which were over his face.

"What?"

"I said Shawn, come lie next to me. Uh, doy."

So Shawn stood up and threw himself backwards on Eric's bed.

"Dude. This bed is amazing."

"I know, right?" Eric said as he propped him face up on one arm, lying on his side. "Here's the thing Shawn. You messed up. Sure. I know what that's like. But you can either avoid Cory forever, which means you'll have to get out of here within an hour because he is on a timer from that baby of his. Or you can deal with it right now. He'll wake up in an hour and probably think he's dreaming that you're here."

"Does he know I'm coming?"

"Angela told him that you called her. So he had a lot of questions as to how you knew. He doesn't know you're coming. I hardly knew if you were coming. I figured you would, but I didn't want to let him get his little Cory-hopes up, you know? Too much as it is," Eric laughed.

"Angela," his voice sounded even more strained, if that was possible. It shouldn't have been. "She's here? Oh God, Eric. What did I do?" He started crying, covering his face. Ashamed.

"Yeah. She's at the house with Topanga and the baby Matthews. Should've mentioned that I guess. Thought you knew considering you called her. Guess not."

"Let's not talk about Angela yet. I can hardly focus on Cory."

"He was pretty ticked that I had your number the whole time. Honestly I'm surprised the little brother slept here instead of the house. Angela didn't mind coming over here. Glad THAT didn't happen. But I guess Topanga and Angela and Faith wanted some 'girl time', whatever that means with a baby."

"I still have that picture you sent me. Thanks, by the way," Shawn muttered, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out an old, beat up, black, leather wallet. He pulled out several pictures. One of Cory and Topanga in their wedding clothes with him standing next to Cory. Another of Faith. One of Angela. One of Jack and Rachel while they were in the Peace Corp, a picture Eric had specially printed to send to Shawn.

"Jack. Is he coming?" Shawn tried.

"Of course. Him and Rachel were actually on their way back. Weird timing. Why don't you go to bed, man? I'll wake you up when Cory is up. You need some sleep."

Shawn let the exhaustion of travel, time change, lack of sleep and emotions catch up to him as Eric spoke.

"I might be out for days. But wake me up when Cory wants to see me. If that's never, let it be never…" he said quietly as he drifted off to sleep. Eric sighed as he looked at Shawn, realizing that Shawn was as broken as he ever had been. He got up to switch the light off and went to the kitchen to make himself some coffee. No sleeping after all that.


End file.
